If so, here’s a quick fact check — that’s what defined serious music for several thousand years. Up until some masterminds in the 1950s decided that perceptible melodies and functional harmonies and a discernible rhythmic pulse and audible musical organization were backwards-looking outworn remnants of a dead musical past.

Fortunately, contemporary music advances one funeral at a time and these masterminds have departed this mortal veil for whatever realms await people with zero musical talent. Their legacy, alas, lingers on, like a bad case of mold in the shower.