Archive for August, 2013

“When you come to a fork in the road…take it.”  – Yogi Berra

Working on String Quartet No. 6: Rapid Eye these days.  It’s the last of a cycle of six quartets, and as such it has a lot of baggage to claim.  First of all, it has to function as its own entity, it has to be a piece that stands alone.  At the same time, it can’t ignore the fact that there were five predecessors, all tackling similar themes, all leading to this conclusion.

Working on it got me thinking about some of the differences between life and art.  In life, you choose a path, or a path is chosen for you, and you take it.  As soon as you commit your first step, you can’t take it back.  You can, of course, switch paths at any time, but you can’t undo the time you have spent pursuing your initial track.

In art, though, things are a bit different.  Multiple paths are possible, simultaneous multiple paths can even be attractive.  This is nowhere truer than in music, which sometimes seems designed for simultaneous tracks heading for different horizons.

Right now, Rapid Eye has two movements, each starting from the same musical gesture, each heading off in its own independent direction.

We can all relate to the narrator in Robert Frost’s The Road Not Taken, who laments (then takes pride in) the unchosen path.

Art, though, gives us options that aren’t available in other facets of life.  Through art, where there’s a fork, the cake can be both had and eaten.

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Today is the first day of classes here at the UNC School of the Arts, time for people to get lost in the wrong hallways, have a few unexpected encounters, scramble into class late, and possibly learn a thing or two that will have a powerful impact on their futures.

And that’s just the teachers.

I met with my students last Friday.  A little soon to say, but they seem like an imaginative and curious lot, raring to go.

As I told them, I love my summers, the chance to move my body in ways that have nothing to do with predetermined appointments and spread my mind out as far as it will take me.  But around about the second week of August I start to get antsy, thinking about the coming school year, wondering what surprises my students will have in store for me in the coming year.

And now it begins.  Whoa, I’m running late…

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Just a few days after complaining that this blog has become a listing of “events, performances and accolades,” I have one of the last to report: the NC Arts Council has awarded me an Artist Fellowship, the highest honor accorded to artists in the state.

This fellowship is going to give me much-needed support as I bring the Invisible Cities String Quartet Cycle to a conclusion with String Quartet No. 6: Rapid Eye.  Target for completion: January 2014.

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When I first began to blog on an infinite number of curves, it indeed curved in multiple directions, covering my thoughts and observations on a variety of seemingly unrelated topics.    Part of the premise was that all topics are related, even though their relationships are not always readily evident.

More and more, though, I see this blog has become something a little less distinguished, a listing of performances, events and accolades — external signposts, as opposed to thoughts.  I’ve been fully aware of this shift as it has been taking place, and I have explained it away to myself through various means.  And now it is time for me to own up to what has happened.

There are at least three independent strands that have influenced the shift.  First, over the course of eight years, I have said a substantial portion of what I have to say.  There are a few things I haven’t gotten to yet, and their times may come, but a lot of my thoughts on the subjects nearest and dearest to my heart are already out there.  This is a phenomenon other bloggers have encountered and commented on.  The blog as a format has reached a plateau.

Second, I am valuing my privacy more and more.  That seems like a funny thing to say because I have always valued my privacy, but every passing year makes privacy feel more precious.  I suppose it’s because all of my actions, tastes, interests, etc, have become much easier for strangers to gather and decipher than was the case even eight years ago.  It feels, in fact, like the level of privacy I took for granted in my youth is something that would be extremely difficult to attain today, and is probably unimaginable for generations of composers active now and in the years to come.

Finally, I seem to have reached a point in my development where I am more conscious of an urge for purity of expression, as opposed to an urge to try new things.  In that sense, infinite curves are not as appealing to me as a few discrete, well-placed dots.  That may be a product of my age, or the result of years of compositional growth, or some other factor, I don’t know.  Somehow I find the image of the retracted arms of a melanocyte appealing.  Melanocytes are the skin cells that create melanin, or pigment.  These cells, unlike the other 90% of our skin cells, have long arms, like an octopus, that allow them to send their pigments to the follicles our hair grows from.  As we age, the tendrils of these melanocytes retract.  Our hair receives less and less pigment, and is allowed to exhibit its true color, which is white.  Others choose to see this development as a loss, but I’m inclined to see a gain: instead of dressing itself up with color from the outside, my hair is gradually becoming more and more comfortable just being itself.

In much the same way, I am less and less interested in dressing up my life and art in the colors that I find reaching me through the tendrils of culture.  Instead, I am content with the absence of color, a turn to a more nuanced texture. It’s a shift in focus from the infinite to the infinitesimal.  That’s not an attitude, a perspective, I can recommend to young composers – and it certainly is not one best suited to the blog format — but it suits me for the time being.

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Sad to be missing Carol Wincenc playing Bacchanal from my flute concerto Orpheus in the Afterworld this weekend at the Gala Concert of the National Flute Association’s annual convention.  If anyone out there can make it, it’s this Saturday at 8 pm at the French Quarter Marriott in New Orleans.  Ransom Wilson conducts the orchestra.

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