…for fighting letdown


Yesterday afternoon I submitted three copies of the three volumes (analysis, score and documentation, and DVD and CD) of my thesis along with the proper forms. Once the internal and external examiners review them and I make the final edits, I will be able to receive my Master’s of Music at Convocation this upcoming February. But until then, since all the difficult work is now behind me, I can at least say that I am practically a Master of Music.

I have been meaning to write some sort of celebratory post along the lines of the Tangka (minus one syllable) that I wrote after picking up the first bound draft of Time Fixtures or the joyous ramblings I wrote after the premier of Time Fixtures but haven’t really been able to figure out anything to say. In lieu of any particularly obvious celebratory remarks I thought I just quote the one thing I’ve read from a book in the last week since it seems to be a good mantra to use in fighting the inevitable swell of letdown that’s on its post-thesis way.

On Saturday I randomly picked up my copy of the ”Bardol Thodol” (or “The Tibetan Book of the Dead”). When I quickly flipped all the pages a dried leaf from two autumns ago fell out. I picked the leaf up and placed it on a random page and then read the strangely appropriate prayer on the page:

Alas! when the Uncertain Experiencing of Reality is dawning upon me here,
With every thought of fear or terror or awe for all set aside,
May I recognize whateve appear, as the reflections of mine own consciousness;
May I know them to be of the nature of apparitions in the Bardo: When at this all-important moment of achieving a great end.
May I not fear the bands of Peaceful and Wrathful, mine own thought-forms.
*

*I’ve removed parenthetical clarifications

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