Did you learn anything in music school? Or does the phrase “circle of fifths” mean nothing to you?

How does one learn “anything”? Doesn’t one learn “something”? “Something” and “anything” really aren’t the same thing, are they? Could you help me out here?

What’s your favorite “bad” piece of music? And briefly justify your crappy taste.

Would my favorite “bad” piece of music be “better” or “worse” than my next-favorite “bad” piece on my list? Just trying to get oriented. . . .

Your five-composition-long playlist for Schoenberg would contain:

Huh. I was not aware “composition” was a unit of measurement. One more American who knows nothing about the metric system, I guess.

Congress calls on you to draw up a bailout plan for contemporary music! What do you do?

Well, that would depend on whether On-You-To-Draw-Up-A-Bailout-Plan-For-Contemporary-Music answered the call. Maybe he or she wasn’t home or on the other line. And am I the only one who thinks first names are getting ridiculous these days?

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